Thursday, December 22, 2005

Letter to God

I fell upon a couple major disappointments today within just a few minutes of each other. Several things I worked long and hard to achieve literally turned to dust before my eyes. It's not important to name them here, but if anyone wants to know about the specifics, you can always email me. I'll probably tell you.

I was feeling quite depressed about my current situation, but stumbled on the following article about letters addressed to God being placed on the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem. I was impressed with how they treat these letters with deep respect. They consider them as sacred communication between people and God, so they leave them at the wall unopened:

An old Islamic tradition says: 'A prayer in Jerusalem is worth 500 prayers elsewhere'

After reading this article, I spoke with a friend, and wondered what I might pray if I were to pour out my heart and soul to the Great Spirit above. She gave me some good advice about surrendering expectations and being open to change. I finally came up with the following prayer (maybe I will really send it to Jerusalem):

"Dear God,

We make plans, and sometimes they fail, or sometimes they take an unforeseen path we could never imagine, even in our wildest dreams. We set out on magnificent journeys across the deserts and mountain of life, but we do not always reach the destination we hoped for.

Merciful God, I arrived at just such a place today, a dead end on the road of life. I did everything I could think to do, and still I came up short. My plans failed and my desires suffered cruel disappointment. So much was taken; so much was lost. Some days, I can hardly bear the pain.

You are a God of miracles, but sometimes I have to abandon every expectation of how I want things to turn out. I often plead with you in prayer for this result or that, but only you truly know the best path for me. Maybe this obstacle is a message from your infinite mercy to open my heart and mind to something totally outside anything I know. Maybe you have blessings in store beyond mortal comprehension.

I failed even after putting forth my best effort. I’m done making plans for my life situation, because they all came to nothing in the end. So now I call upon you, God of my heart, “What will you have me do now? Please give me clarity!

I place my preferences on the altar. Choose from them as you will.

I am your beloved son; one of many.


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