Friday, December 23, 2005

The Seed of Anger

Nothing new to report on this eve of Christmas Eve; we finished up a few errands, and left a few other undone until after the holiday.

I mentioned my letter to God to someone I hold as a spiritual mentor. He thought about my prayer for a while and then had some interesting feedback. He said (and I paraphrase), "Your heart is in the right place. You pray for many good things in your life, but you have a tinge of anger in everything you do. Even the smallest seed of anger will touch your good intentions and make it difficult for the spirits to answer your prayers."

Part of me wanted to respond by thanking him for the insight and then forgetting about it as soon as possible. Another part of me wanted to justify the anger I feel. I chose instead to sit in silence and allow his words to rest upon my heart.

His words are true. I still feel anger about several major events in my life. It's also true that anger obstructs the clarity of my life purpose.

Sooooo, how do I heal the anger in my heart? My childhood conditioned me to stuff my anger, which never really solved anything. All it ever did was make me sick and depressed. So if I don't suppress my anger, what the heck do I do with it?

I asked God for help, and this is what I got. This information is extremely useful, even though it's somewhat difficult to hear.

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