Friday, May 06, 2005

Grandfather's Lodge

Like so many other Fridays, I struggled to leave the anxieties of city life and make my road to Grandfather's Lodge. All too often I tend to avoid spiritual devotion at the very moment I need it most. Life in Spokane exterts a strange influence over my mind: it feeds my addiction to convenience and partially blocks my sense of spirit; but when I finally get past the mental obstacles and simply get in my car and drive, the clouds lift with each passing mile.

On my way to Wellpinit, I saw and felt the spirits in many forms: a pair of moose feeding in the Little Spokane River, ancients rock paintings near Tum Tum, rain showers washing the sky, the sound of wind in the trees...

During the sweat my emotions came forth to be healed. I felt an outpouring of grief for my two sons who were taken, pain because of all the suffering my family endured over the last two years, rage for the ones who caused our suffering, struggle to find forgiveness, and fear for all the uncertainties of my future. All these feelings and others I cannot name came pouring from my heart as I wept. Thankfully, these were not tears of despair, but of healing. When I closed my eyes and listened to the songs, I could see the spirits gathering around as if to say, "Don't worry. Everything will be all right. We've seen your heart and now we'll do our best to help you."

I left Grandfather's Lodge feeling cleansed and renewed.

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